For those of you lucky (or maybe unlucky) enough to be in a relationship, this quick test is for you!  Do you really know how strong your relationship is?  Maybe you need to work on some things!  Try this test out and be honest about it, so you can get a true score!

According to Soul Shepherding, these are the critical areas to focus on: Stress Points, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Relational Intimacy, Emotional Reactivity, Boundaries, and Relationship with God.

Here's how it works...

Circle the number of any question that you answer can say yes to.

Stress Points

1.  I’m not pleased with our roles in handling responsibilities at work and home.

2.  We often disagree on how to deal with our kids and/or families.

3.  We don’t agree on how to handle our money.

4.  I’m not satisfied with our spiritual life together.

5.  I’m not satisfied with our sex life or expression of affection.


6.  My partner says things that put me down.

7.  I often hold back my true feelings from my partner.

8.  I often don’t feel listened to by my partner.

9.  Sometimes my partner gives me the silent treatment.

10.  I’m afraid to ask my partner for what I want.

Conflict Resolution

11.  I go out of my way to avoid conflicts with my partner.

12.  I give in just to end an argument.

13.  When we argue I often end up feeling the problem is my fault.

14.  Our conflicts usually don’t get fully resolved.

15.  I’m afraid to be honest and hurt my partner’s feelings.


16.  We don’t spend enough time as just the two of us.

17.  I don’t feel very close to my partner.

18.  There aren’t many fun activities that we enjoy together.

19.  Sometimes I don’t enjoy my partner’s company.

20.  I don’t like my partner’s personality.

Emotional Reactivity

21.  My partner loses his/her temper at me often.

22.  I lose my temper at my partner often.

23.  Sometimes we have major conflicts over minor issues.

24.  I’m afraid of my partner’s anger.

25.  My partner is too emotional.


26.  It’s hard for me to say no to my partner.

27.  Sometimes I feel mistreated by my partner.

28.  I don’t get enough space in our relationship.

29.  Sometimes I feel controlled by my partner.

30.  It’s hard for me to be happy if my partner is upset.

Relationship with God

31.  I wish my partner wanted to pray with me more often.

32.  I’m uncomfortable with some of my partner’s views on God.

33.  I feel inhibited to talk with my partner about my relationship with God.

34.  I think we should spend more time reading the Bible together.

35.  My partner and I don’t agree about church.

What's your score? Total up your yes answers for each of these six relationship categories. Two or more yes answers in a category is a red flag and your relationship may need help in that area. If the two of you can’t work through any points of hurt or conflict talk with a marriage counselor.

Category                             Questions                    Score

Stress Points                               1-5

Communication                         6-10

Conflict Resolution                   11-15

Relational Intimacy                  16-20

Emotional Reactivity                 21-25

Boundaries                                  26-30

Relationship with God              31-35

What's your score?  Were you honest about all the questions?  Hopefully a little extra special romance this week, can help with some of the problem areas!