Gym Laws

There is an epidemic happening at gyms around the Treasure Valley.

We need to something before it's too late.

We will be adding more laws to the list, but there's only one I'd like to propose:

NO SHOWING YOUR NIPPLES AT THE GYM.

I've racked my brain trying to figure out why men would want to show off their nipples whilst working out a the gym. Zero logical answers have come to me.

Is it to keep cool? Air out your armpits? To attract the ladies?

None of those really add up.

GQ even has a mathematical equation to help you with proper gym wardrobe choices:

The amount of skin you're showing should not exceed the square inches covered by your tank top. And no peeking nipples—ever. (A shirt that shows nipples isn't a shirt.) Believe us when we say a little goes a long way. The armholes of your tank should descend no further than your first rib. And the neckline should end above the latitude of your pits.

 

I've been looking to join a gym in Boise, and I've seen this multiple times at every fitness facility. Doesn't matter if it's a "gym for everybody," a family gym, or a gym catered more toward body builders. Dudes are doing this everywhere.

Back in the 1930's, it was illegal for men to flaunt their nipples in public. I say we amend the constitution and add a law that men are no longer allowed to display their nipples at the gym. Pool? Fine. Workout room? Absolutely not.

Ban the bro-nips. Join the movement.

What other gym laws should we pass? Let us know on Facebook.