Here’s Why You Missed the Total Solar Eclipse

It hasn't happened since 1979, and won't happen again until 2045. If you missed the Total Solar Eclipse in the sky earlier today, this is probably the reason why.

According to every source I checked, the eclipse was supposed to happen at approximately 11:27 a.m. here in Boise. Tawsha and I went outside about a moment before, and as soon as we get out there I look up and the total blackout of the sun had already happened.

Did Tawsha punk me? Did she somehow make us jump forward in time slightly? I don't know how she pulled it off, but this vile woman made me miss the Total Solar Eclipse. A once in a lifetime opportunity. I am heartbroken.