Kekeluv 101: The Fake Phone Number

I feel it's time to institute Kekeluv 101 for my friends in the Treasure Valley. Sometimes it takes a stranger to get you to realize that you've bonked your head if you continue to make those relationship mistakes! Welcome to your inner girlfriend. Time to wake the hell up!

I've officially been off of the morning show with my partner in crime (Michelle Heart) for approximately four months. I will never miss getting up at the crack of dawn, but I long for those conversations. It was fun sitting around and talking about relationships. Wait, it was exciting talking about Michelle's messy love life, and there is a good reason.

Michelle Heart (my assistant brand manager/midday host) had no idea how to conduct a love life. The reason why this was so awesome is that I believe most people get it wrong.

Love is ridiculous.

Love is stupid.

Love is timeless.

Love is hopeless.

Love makes you forget who you are.

Religious people say they have been filled with the holy ghost and others would equate that to falling in love or getting a heart broken. What an excellent subject unless it happens to you. Let's be honest; you never know because the Forever After Effect blinds you.

I will be taking emails, calls, tweets, messages and let's get donkey - letters! I just made up, let's get donkey - that means nothing.

First, am I qualified? Mmmm, is Donald Trump qualified to be President? Ahhhhh NO! But! But! The Trump Train is winning in a lot of polls and ladies this man could be your next Commander in Chief. That's just real talk yo! My point is if it makes sense to you then maybe you should listen. Simple.

Today I took another first-time caller and without pause she gave me her, "drunk name." I said, "Did you just give me a fake name?"

She replied with, "OMG! I'm so sorry, but yes?????" Let's just start here and make it quick. I'd like to be called by the name SIRI uses, "The Fertilizer of Love" or "Big Sexy." That being said, let me introduce you to your new best friend, SIDELINE.

This app gives your phone an additional number, and that means you can have two numbers instead of just one. For instance: I use this number for contest winners, record labels, and booty calls. Ha! Come on you know I would never give my WINNERS this number!

Seriously, this is legit. I've been using it for about eight months, and it's saved me several times. SIDELINE rings according to what you want, you can receive texts and it's a number that you can delete whenever you want. This SIDELINE number is free, and I'm not getting paid to tell you about it.

So, the next time you’re out at a club and you’re too nice to NOT give a guy your number. Just SIDELINE him.

let me know if it works and how your experience has been. Hey, do you have a DRUNK GIRL NAME? Are you going through something in a relationship that you need a second opinion about? Please do yourself a favor and ask away! Just remember, DON’T ASK IF YOU DON’T WANT THE HONEST OPINION. Come to me if you want the GIRLFRIEND advice. A girlfriend should ALWAYS shoot you straight and it’s a tragedy if she lets you walk out that house looking like that! If she does, then your girlfriend doesn’t want you to look good, know what I’m sayin??????

Send your questions, drunk names and everything else to kekeluv@1035kissfmboise.com – make sure to follow me EVERYWHERE below. DON’T send direct messages because I check those last. Muah!