Kekeluv’s Father’s Day Recap with French Toast, a Fire, and Love

I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm a father, three years after becoming one for the first time. My son Lennox is halfway to four years old yet this fatherhood idea still seems so new.

The day we celebrate dads was just a reminder of what I didn't have anymore before our son Lennox was born. I didn't put much emphasis on my birthday because it was days apart from his dreadful day of passing. I didn't pity myself or anything like that. That's just how things worked out.

We were at dinner tonight and my wife told my son, "Say happy Father's Day to Papa Jimmy." My son replied, "Happy Father's Day Papa Jimmy!" My wife always does those things to remind me and our son. She's pretty special like that. This morning for my surprise breakfast she customized a shirt for Lennox to wear that read, "KICKLIGHTER 01" That's my last name by the way and every time I hear it - I'm reminded of him.

I'm not sure if my father and I were that extremely close since I moved away shortly after high school to join the Navy. I think it's more of who I became based upon the values he taught me. I remember so much about him and how he was just simply, a good man. I'm not sure if you could have ever met one person who would have said any different. I think you can judge a person by what people say about him. I hope that I've made him proud and not because of my career successes. I believe he would be most proud of who I became and the lives I've been fortunate enough to help. My father would have adored my wife and son.

The only real regret I have is that my son didn't get to meet him. The pain of losing someone you truly love never goes away and as those tears roll down my cheeks it's obvious that I still miss him dearly. I ran into a friend at Costco today who looked at my son and asked his name,

"Lennox Jimmy Kicklighter!" my son responded so proudly.

I woke up this morning to that little guy tugging at my neck with, "I love you, daddy!" I'm not quite sure if that will ever get old. Lennox came up to me with his customized t-shirt and his excitement to take me outside for breakfast. My pregnant wife rose early this morning to prepare an unbelievable breakfast with our son. I just love that woman so much because she doesn't care which side you're on - if you're wrong, she's gonna let you know! If she loves you - she's gonna let you know!

Father's Day turned out just wonderful in the very uncharacteristic colder and rainy Sunday in June. My mind was on things like Boise Music Festival, wondering if my company was going to find me a cohost as I've been doing a solo show since October of last year, and a ton of other things. That's when I'd hear, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Here I was on Father's Day with my best buddy and my mind kept diving towards my career stuff. That's when I put my phone down and played. It was a wonderful Father's Day.

Let me thank that little boy and hopefully one day he reads this. Technology is something to be frustrated with - no doubt! I also love that my son and daughter will be able to look back one day to see what their dad was saying/feeling. They will both read these words in the future and I hope they understand that I'm the proudest father ever. There are no awards, ratings or a number of accolades that will ever compare to the pride in being a dad.

I want to thank my wife and son so much because these are the moments you don't forget. People often joke that I don't brag or take credit for things. Honestly, that won't change. Let me say HOWEVER I will always brag about my family.

My Texas family could never talk to me again and if something was wrong, the door would ALWAYS be open. My Idaho family has opened their arms and accepted me as I've always been here. My son and wife's family? Well, what is there to say? I met my wife at Albertsons on Parkcenter BLVD. I knew she was the one by they was she sat next to me on our first date. My wife's father is a replica of my own. I've been accepted by her family as I'd always been there.

Father's Day was great and next year there will be a little girl joining the family. I honestly thought I missed my chance at finding love and family. You have to laugh when I say it all changed one scruffy night at Albertsons on Parkcenter.

Next year there will be another chapter added on to this story. We are expecting a little girl and we're so excited to invite her into this family. I've just calmed down because I've realized we don't have to have the boy conversation for at least a few years. Here's to praying for a healthy little princess! Coming this Fall!