Missed Connection Monday: March 23rd

You know the BFFs that in hindsight we realize are complete saints for babysitting our drunk butts?  The one that helped her friend pick up the "Passed Out Irish Man" is one of those friends!

Hot Teacher At The Bar – m4w (Kuna)

Looking for the hot teacher that was sitting there wanting company. You’re still married, but you said that your husband hadn’t laid hands on you in over a year. In fact, you said the biggest thrill you’ve had in that long of time was sitting through 50 Shades Of Grey hoping they had included at least one scene with Jamie Dornan’s junk in it. Even though they didn’t, you said the movie turned you on more than sleeping next to your dead beat husband every night. I bought you a few shots of fireball. One thing led to another and we ended up making out in the back hall by the restrooms. Just one question. Are you divorced yet? Hit me up.

The Irish Man Passed Out In Flower Pot – w4m (DT Boise)

You must’ve had a wicked hangover the morning after St. Patty’s Day considering we found you passed out in a flower pot on Main Street. One of my drunk girlfriends thought you were sexy as hell in the green plaid kilt you were wearing. She begged me, the stupid person that agreed to be DD for the night, to carry you to my car so that we could be the good Samaritans to rescue you. I asked you where you lived and you incoherently mumbled something about looking at your address on your license in your wallet. We dropped you off at that address and your roommates helped us carry you to bed. My friend was so curious to see if you were going commando under that kilt that she just had to look. To her surprise (and my disgust) you were. She tied her green ribbon around your “little Irish Man.” I’m sure you remember seeing that in the morning. She’s was hoping you did. Could you give her a call so I can stop hearing about the sexy, passed out Irish Man? She scribbled her number on the back of your ID with sharpie.

My Best Friend’s Girl – m4w (Meridian)

This 30ish year old semi happily married man could be crazy in lust with his friend's wife. All I know is that you drive me crazy any time I'm around you. It's crazy because I was there for one of your first real dates. I stood with you two at your wedding. I want you to know that you didn't do anything to cause this. I have no right to feel this way. You often say flirty and sexy things for comedic affect but there is nothing funny about the effect you have on me. You're so sexy and visions of your flaming red hair and your wonderful body find their way into my mind far too often. Especially since what little spark my wife and I had in the beginning has turned into the dull glow of comfortable and platonic roommates. I'd love to just pick you up in my arms and press you against the wall with a passionate kiss. I am sure you don't see me that way. I'm the harmless sidekick. I would never openly confess my desires. I value my wife, my friends, you and your kid too much to risk standing in your yard with a boom box above my head. But I had to get it out. If by some miracle you do see this send me an innocent message or photo. Just me. I'll know. If all logic and reason and laws of nature have been turned upside down and you see this and you also feel some attraction then send me a not so innocent message or photo ha ha!