Missed Connection Monday: May 11th

Could the man with a mohawk at Albertson's find love in the grocery store just like Kekeluv did?  It seems like this woman is all about you!

Albertsons Cut Mohawk WTF? - w4m (Eagle)

This is probably stupid to put here, but I saw you again tonight at Albertsons.  You're a giant man, maybe 7 foot tall?  You could totally dunk on Lebron if you were into basketball and such, but judging by your hair cut you may be to anti establishment to enjoy sports.  I have spent many nights with you in my dreams even though we've never actually met.  We exchanged glances in produce as you were eying cantaloupes.  The actual melons, not my breasts.  Although I wish you were looking at my melons! Biker  boots.  I thought you were sexy before, but now that you have this mohawk haircut going on, I just can't stop thinking about our unspoken connection.  I could be daydreaming.  You may not even read this but if you do, give me a chance to show my talent.  I will fill you with beer and liquor and let you go wild with me.  You've seen me before.  Short auburn hair.  A few miles and a few extra pounds.  E-mail me back so we can wrestle all night!

Saw You At Java - m4w (Downtown)

We met for a drink a year or two ago downtown.  I thought we had quite a bit in common.  I'm originally from Iowa.  You like to eat corn.  They grow lots of corn in Iowa.  In fact there's a ladies cross country team that runs naked through cornfields near my hometown.  I told you your body is so fit and tight that you would fit right in with these ladies and I that I would love to watch you run sometime.  That was meant to be a complimnet, but maybe I was being too forward.  I thought our drink date went great, but I didn't hear from you again.  Now here I am running into you at a coffee shop two years later and your beauty still leaves me breathless.  I was coming over to say hi to you when I slipped on a muffin wrapper and fell in front of everyone in the coffee shop.  I'd like to say that only my pride was hurt, but I ended up spilling my scalding hot mocha everywhere including on myself.  I think I may have first degree burns from the caffeine fix that betrayed me.  Anyway, I'm hoping you'd give this klutzy guy a second chance to show you that we're a perfect fit for each other and that we could run naked in cornfields together forever! If you still have my number text me sometime.

Old Lady @ Gold’s Gym On Cinco De Mayo – m4w (Meridian)

I’m looking for the stunning lady in her 70s that was “lifting” at Gold’s Gym yesterday afternoon.  First let me say, I’m an attractive single man in my 20s.  I’m training for my first ever fitness competition when your beauty distracted me.  I’ve always been attracted to older women.  That broad that dropped the necklace into the ocean at the end of Titanic is still one of my celebrity crushes…but I think she just died.

Anyway, you were sitting on the leg curl machine with a martini glass, green liquid inside and salt on the rim.  I can only guess it was a margarita and I’m impressed that you were able to get it inside the gym! Your eff society attitude was extremely sexy.  I’d do anything to kiss the remaining salt from that rim off your lips.  If you’re down to get it on with a young buck like me, I taped my address under that leg curl machine.  I figured you were too old to figure out how to e-mail me back!