Were you the guy who tried to kiss a married woman in Mountain Home? Cause she's totally back on the market and looking for you!

Slapped You In Mountain Home - w4m (Drunk On The Base)

I was out on the Mountain Home Airforce base for a class when I ran into you drinking A LOT at the bar.  It took you a minute to remember how you knew me.  You had been to my house once and met me and my husband.  You thought we would have been fun to hang out with.  We had a very interesting conversation at the bar.  I told you that if I wasn't married, you would be the perfect man for me.  That's when we both took a shot of tequila and you went in for the kiss.  I turned my head away and slapped you.  Notice, I said you would've been the perfect man for me if I WASN'T married.  At the time, I was still very married but got served my divorce papers this week.  Now that I'm very close to being back on the market, I'd like that kiss and to do what I wanted to do to you that night had you not been so drunk.

Hottie With Bananas At Whole Foods - w4m (Whole Foods)

You: Around 5'10", Shaved Head, Looks Like You Work Out, Yum!
Me: About 5'2", blonde and just plain hot

I was in Whole Foods and you were getting bananas.  I couldn't help but picture what YOUR banana looks like.  We made ye contact a few times and I practically melted.  I couldn't help but notice you took a few extra looks at my ass.  I didn't mind one bit.  I'll admit, I took a few extra looks at your crotch so we're even.  You are soooo gorgeous.  I went to my car and watched you load your groceries.  Please don't think I am creepy, I just couldn't get enough of you.  You were driving a grey dodge.  If by chance you see this please email me back with bananas in the subject line.

Uniformed Man Watching Me From The Bushes - w4m (Ada County Jail

You probably think I didn't notice you.  I'd just gotten released from county and there you were behind the bushes, watching me.  At first I was a little freaked out, but then I thought...hmm....maybe there was someone worth thinking there.  Maybe what he really wanted to do was to come running after me as I left the jail house front doors.  Maybe, after seeing me, he thought he'd found paradise in this bad girl, but if he ran to me he might scare me away.

You shamelessly lacked the fluff of the party guys.  You lacked the shady demeanor of the guys I meet downtown.  Of all of the guys, over all of the nights...the ones that might have replaced you, I've hand picked you to try to find on missed connections.  The uniformed man behind the bushes.  You started looking for me that night you hid in the shrubbery, so finish what you started and reply to me!

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