Missed Connection Monday: October 26th

We haven't spoken in days and the opportunity has never presented itself to even suggest what I think about when I see you. You're sexy as hell especially when you get out of the shower at exactly 5:57 every single weekday morning. (That's right, the hot water doesn't steam up your bathroom windows as much as you think it does. I quite enjoy the fact that you're either too tired or lazy in the morning to pull the mini blinds in the morning.) Waiting to see you get out of the shower across the lawn has become my favorite part of the morning. If it weren't for the fact that we're both attached I would've told you how I feel instead of posting it on here. I'd love to give you a massage with a happy ending for both of us.

Jamie, my name is John. We met under circumstances that are probably inappropriate for your line of work. I am a willing student that is wants to be taught the fine nuances of a love from you. I know you were once a Mormon and I will not judge you for that. ;-)

We all have previous lives and it doesn't bother me that you have been married twice before. We all make mistakes. We just have to learn from them. I'm not particularly worried about your ex husbands because I life twice a week. I can probably take those guys. I Facebook stalked you and they looked like twerps to me.

Please teach me how to love and be loved and I promise I will excel as a student and may eventually become a star pupil. Just give me a chance and I believe I could make the grade. Who knows, maybe I could teach you what love really is. PS, I hope my analogy isn't freaking you out because you're a special education teacher. Tell me at what school so I know it's you.

You: Grey car with your puppy hanging out the back window enjoying the air, being scared to death by the idiot in the big white van behind you that nearly plowed into you at 40 MPH.Me: Said idiot who was paying more attention to the huge airplane in the distance than to traffic and had to slam on his brakes and get flipped off by you.I promise I'm normally a very good driver and pay attention to my surroundings much better than that. I am sorry for scaring you and nearly hitting you. I tried to let you know I knew it was my fault and you had a right to flip me off. I hope you and your puppy had a good rest of your day. The only thing I'm bummed about is had I hit you, I would've been able to ask you for your phone number when we exchanged insurance information. Even in all your rage, you were incredibly beautiful and I would love to take you out for coffee. Hit me back and tell me what kind of puppy you had if you're interested in a date with the man that almost destroyed your back bumper.