The 7 Types Of Break-Ups
Break-ups suck. Hell, mine was in June and I'll admit I haven't totally bounced back from it yet. But did you know they've now categorized the types of relationship crash and burns? Where does yours fall on Elite Daily's list of 7?
This one stings. Especially if you find out through some back channels that you're actually involved with the Prince of Nothing Charming and he's been playing you while he's got three or four other women on the side. It might hurt for a while, but look at it this way this way their mistakes set you free to find someone who really does respect how special YOU, and ONLY YOU are.
I think Keke's mentioned I've been here. I'm certainly not proud of it and live with the guilt of being a horrible human being because of what I did. But listen, it's not like you wake up one day and say "today's a great day to get between the sheets with someone who's not my SO."
Usually there's some motivation behind it. For me I was in a long distance relationship where coming to see me wasn't a priority. I was being asked to give up my job at 103.5 KISS FM. I didn't feel appreciated, understood or respected so I tried to find those things outside of my relationship. It was a horrible thing to do, but it helped me get out of something that didn't feel right before I did more damage. I may have hurt someone but in the long run I didn't waste time trying to fix something that was really broken beyond repair.
I'm ashamed to admit I've done this too. The guy was a perfectly nice guy and will no doubt make some other girl very, very happy one day. I'm a different animal. I need someone that can keep up with me. I need someone that can match wits with me when it comes to sarcasm and humor. I need someone that understands the same passions I have. If not, I'm going to get bored and look for that type of excitement somewhere else.
The good part of this break-up? It certainly prepares you for what's next. It gives you a clear view of what you want and what you don't in a partner.
We're not talking about an ex here. We're talking about your past experiences. Someone defied your trust. Someone kicked down your self-esteem a couple of notches. It doesn't matter how long ago it was because those types of things can be really hard to move on from.
This type of breakup terrifies me because I know I'm vulnerable to it. I didn't want to think there were men out there that actually treated a woman like a trophy and ghosted as soon as they got what they wanted. I didn't expect a man to watch you cry over someone else and still make a move on you minutes later. I didn't expect to fall for someone who was already with someone else, but still interested in seeing where things went for me. My friends joke that I have the worst luck ever, but the truth is these past experiences make me very suspicious about anyone that I get involved with now. I'm scared of their motives and could quite possibly sabotage something great because of what's going on in my head. That's why these types of breakups happen!
Call me jaded. Call me broken but I get this one. And I wasn't even trying to make an actual relationship work. It's was a "situation"ship drawn out over the course of close to four years. This is when you care for, respect and just enjoy someone SO MUCH but the universe doesn't put you two together in the right place, time and situation ever. Take it as a sign. If they can't or won't become your significant other, it's toxic. Walk away. Save your sanity. Find someone willing to be affectionate in public, not calling you after 2 AM because their lonely and drunk. It's ok to walk away. Like Mandy Hale says, "In the end, you tried and you cared and sometimes, that is enough."
Sometimes rebounding almost seems natural after a breakup. You've got this gaping whole where your ex was and you feel the need to put something in it's place. It may work out. It may not...especially if you're clearly aren't over your ex. You can't be fully present with a new partner when there are still itty bitty pieces of your heart. Wait until you're ready to renter the dating pool.
I've never had one of these, but damn I hear they're fantastic. The world may only feel like it's ending for a bit. After that time passes you can still be Facebook friends, hang out in public and even give each other future relationships.