The Ten Commandments of Driving in Boise
We can all come up with our own “Stupid Driver’s” list and unfortunately Boise is not immune to the occasional reject who seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that there’s other people on the road with them. For this reason, we have created the Ten Commandments of Driving in Boise.
I. Thou Shalt Use Turn Signal
It’s the little lever thingy on the side of your steering wheel that goes up or down, depending on which way you’d like to turn. We realize that some of you may not know it exist, but it does. We promise!
II. Thou Shalt Allow Drivers to Merge
Not sure why the competitive side of human nature comes out when we see a vehicle trying to squeeze onto I-84 from an on ramp but for some reason, that little voice inside our heads says, “Oh no… you’re not getting in front of me.” It’s not the Indy 500! Help em’ out a bit and speed up, slow down, or get over so they can get on.
III. Thou Shalt Thank Courteous Drivers
Just so we’re clear… flipping them the bird and honking your horn does not constitute a thank you. A simple wave with a smile does the job much better. If you happen to be one of the lucky ones to come across a Boise driver that lets you in front of them… a kind gesture is appreciated.
IV. Thou Shalt Ease Up on the Horn
The horn originally was intended to be a safety feature to alert those that may be in some kind of danger. We’re not sure if anyone here in Boise uses it for that, but it gets used plenty to let someone know you’re not happy. The longer and louder the horn, the less happy.
V. Thou Shalt Put the Phone Down and Drive
It’s not a law yet, here in Idaho, to not drive and talk on the phone at the same time but that doesn’t mean you have to do it. We’re pretty sure some drivers are so concerned about that actually becoming a law, they choose to get in as much time as possible, now, while they still can, chit chatting about who knows what.
VI. Thou Shalt Use Caution When the Light is Yellow
This may come as a shocker to you but a yellow light does not mean drive as fast and reckless as possible. It actually means slow down, use caution and oh yes, even stop and wait for the next green light if necessary.
VII. Thou Shalt Not Drive Slowly in the Fast Lane
The title “Fast Lane” is meant to be taken literally here. It’s supposed to be faster than the other lanes. We’re not sure if the typical “out for a stroll” Sunday driver is getting a better view from this lane or if it’s something else, but please speed up or get over.
VIII. Thou Shalt Not be a Tailgater
Believe it or not, the solution for grandpa going 40 mph in the fast lane is not riding up his backside honking your horn and flashing your brights. You may give him a heart attack. So if that’s what you’re going for you might be successful.
IX. Thou Shalt Not Take Up Two Parking Spaces
We realize your vehicle is the best. It’s more beautiful and precious than all the others in a sea of cars and trucks that litter the parking lot with their very existence. These other vehicles should be grateful that you have chosen to park among them. Yes you have graced them with your presence but no, you cannot park too closely. Don’t be that guy!
X. Thou Shalt Drive When the Light Turns Green
We’re sure whatever you’re texting is very important but put the phone down and go! We’re trying very hard to obey commandment #4 which is to not abuse the horn but you’re not making it easy for us.
XI. Thou Shalt Stay Off Eagle Road
Temptation is the devil’s tool for destruction and you will most likely break every one of these commandments when entering the hell they call Eagle Road. If you can survive Eagle Road from I-84 past The Village, you have earned your wings. You will now be ready to enter into the kingdom of Boise driving as a driving God.