#TheSW30: Day 2; That Time I Freaked Out About Kids

Day 2: Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.

Being single is such a Catch 22 sometimes.  One of the best things about being single is I can pick up and go wherever I want, whenever I want without having to answer to a significant other or find a baby sitter.  That means heading out for a night on the town is no big for me.  Most of my friends?  Not so much.  There's single parents in our group.  There's happily married couples with tiny infants in our group. Then you have me.  The single girl.  The only life I'm responsible for is my cat, Dakota.  If it weren't for the fact I feed him, give him water and make sure he's got a clean litter box, I'm fairly sure he could care less if I existed.

So it's a special occasion when all of us can go out together.  Well, that was until a night of dancing and drinks turned into a club that I didn't belong to.  It became the "mommy club." One kid was having a meltdown and mom had to jump on the phone with the sitter.  The baby was fussy and she needed her mom to peace out from the bar to feed it.  Another mom was out for her first night on the town since her son was born.  I had enough drinks in me at that point where I got really, really annoyed.

Why was I annoyed?  Because I was jealous.  These three friends had these incredible little people they created to go home to that love them unconditionally.  Two of them had loving husbands to go home to.  What was I going home to?  Nothing.  My single butt was going home with a gut full of whiskey, a soul that felt absolutely worthless and that piece of my heart that isn't completely whole (except a few months ago it wasn't an itty, bitty piece...it was more like a gaping whole where the guy I thought would eventually be the father of my football jersey wearing baby used to be.)

In hindsight, getting mad at them was immature. It was petty.  It surely wasn't my finest moment and I'm ashamed it ever happened. In reality I was going home to that goofy cat that was going to curl up on me when I cried that night and not judge me.  In reality I was going home so I could get up for a job I love on Monday.  In reality I could do pretty much anything I wanted the following morning.  I needed to take a moment to do what Mandy Hale talks about in her book: Sit still and contemplate just how marvelous life really is. She goes on to say no matter where you are in your journey, take a minute to stop and give thanks for life.  For family, faith, friends and another day to get it right, no matter how many times you've gotten it wrong. 

Ladies, what was your suckiest moment as a single chica?  How'd you cope and move on from it?  I'm interested to hear from you so tweet me your response at @michelleonkiss!