#TheSW30: Day 4 Fear Is A 4 Letter Word

Day 4: Your biggest fear as a single person.

Fear as a single person?  Is that just one?  Cause I've got several and they probably sound irrational to 90% of the population because there's ways to overcome these obstacles as a single woman.

Never Owning My Own Home

Realistically, I don't think I would ever feel completely comfortable owning a house without being married.  The way I live my life I can barely keep a one bedroom apartment clean and keep up with my laundry.  When something breaks at home I don't have to worry about fixing it myself or finding the expenses to cover it.  That's what apartment maintenance is for.  I mean could you imagine watching me try to fix the dishwasher that flooded my kitchen or garbage disposal that wouldn't turn on anymore?  I'd want a man around to handle those types of things.  Plus, without a second income I don't know if I could afford a down payment on nice house that I wouldn't have to spend time fixing up...because let's be honest - Ty Pennington I am not.  I know with some smart financial planning I could probably afford my own house and give up my rental ways, but that sort of responsibility as a single woman really does scare me.

Being The Older Mom Of Younger Children

As I mentioned on Day 2, most of my friends have kids between the ages of 1 and 7.  I fear that by the time I find the ONE and start a family with him, that my friends and I will never get to spend time together because my kids won't be suitable playmates for theirs.   If my current success rate in relationships continues the way it has they'll be attending their kids' school concerts, sports tournaments and getting them dolled up for homecoming while my kids are in diapers.  I fear my kids would be the outsiders.  (A completely irrational fear as I know they'll make their own friends at school and I'll probably become friends with those mothers at a PTA meeting or something.)  And there's that whole biological clock thing.  I didn't think I wanted kids until about a year ago and now I fear each year I get older, the smaller chance I have of having a healthy baby.  (Again, probably a completely irrational fear because I'm not even close to knowledgeable about pregnancy because it's not something I'm considering at this point in my life.)

Not Having Overall Stability In My Life

I'll be honest, in my last relationship it was nice to have the person that I considered my best friend around all the time.  Even if I was working at home in the evenings, everything just seemed more stable and even keeled when he was around.  It was a comfortable silence as we both worked on things that were important to us.  On days where I worked 10-12 hours, it was nice to know he had my back getting dinner together for us so we could relax together or head out on the town to do something fun.  Things just feel less rushed to me in relationships.  At 26, feeling like I'm in a constant rush and like I'm always behind in the rat race we call life is just fine.  Exciting even.  But as I get older, I rather slow the pace down and enjoy it with some quieter moments with someone special.

So those are my three biggest single woman fears and you know what?  They're not earth shattering.  I don't put a lot of energy into worrying about them and by no means am I in a hurry to find someone just to put those fears to rest.  Everything I hope to experience will happen in time and I'm not going to waste the days I'm given to figure it out trying to force situations that just won't work in the end.  I'll stumble along the way to it and that's ok. It's just life.

I'll keep this pearl from Life, Love and a Dash of Sass in my back pocket while I wait it out.  What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting.  Trust the process.

Single chicas, what's your biggest fear being unattached?  Tweet me your responses at @michelleonkiss.