Mompetition is basically the act of making you feel like your child isn't as amazing as your friend, your sister, your neighbor or your cousin's child. Let's not get all dramatic about it, let's just be real: we all wear the guilt sweater daily and hope we're doing the right thing. What's your worst mompetition moment?
I'll break it down according to urban dictionary:
The one-up rivalry that moms play making their child seem better, smarter, and/ or more advanced than yours. May involve two or more moms and any number of children, even full-grown.
She engaged me in mompetition insisting her son walked at 6 months and implying my son was slow for his age.
It starts at the beginning when we all compare our pregnancy stories. Then we talk about labor. It typically tends to lead to the "I was in labor for _______ hours" brag session. I'm not about that life. I don't want to brag about being in pain for hours on end. We all know the process - it's not fun and there's very little to be proud of during the labor part. In the end, no matter how our child got into this world, here we are. Moms.
Now that we've established a level playing field, we can all agree that none of us really know what the heck we are doing. Every night for the entire time my child has been in this world, I think about all the things I could have done better that day and vow to do better the next. I look at his sweet, innocent (quiet) face and wonder how I got so lucky. I, then, wonder who thought it was even possible for me to have such responsibility. I can comfortably admit that I know nothing about being a parent.
I draw from remembering how my mom raised me, I observe other people's parenting styles (yep, I'm a people-watcher), I rely on instinct and act based on lessons I learned form past mistakes.
Right now I'm thinking about spring. With the winter we have had here in the Treasure Valley, I would pay some serious cash to have warm temps and no threat of snow. We will be going bike riding and my son isn't comfortable riding a bike. He remembers waaaaaaaay back when he fell just a little and will not let that thought go. He's 8 (almost 9) and isn't riding a bike on his own. All I hear is "He's not riding his bike, yet?"
Dear moms who are reminding me that their kids have been riding a bike with just two wheels since they were 4: I'm happy for your child and I'm happy for you. As for me, we've got some learning to do.
This is just a minor example of mompetition. I'll continue to bring up examples as we get further into this but I'm curious what your story is. Did your child walk late? Are you wondering if your stomach can handle you going back to work and leaving your child in the care of someone else? Just because all of your girlfriends stay home with their babies and you're hearing that it's not a good idea to go back to work...do you truly believe that? Another example of mompetition.
Tell me your story and let's see where we can go with this.
My goal is to get all of the Treasure Valley moms to talk about what they believe deep down in their heart. What they think but never say. It's hard to be a mom. It's the best job anyone could have. It's a job that can turn a normal woman bonkers. Yet we continue to do it. Why? Because we love these little versions of us and can't imagine life without them.
Wait...where was I going with this?
I've lost my mind long ago.
Tell me your story in the comments.