The 10 Commandments for Driving in Boise
I don't know if it's the California transplants or if we're just flat out bad at driving here in Idaho but you pretty much see it all here. The following is our 10 Commandments for driving in Boise.
*Disclaimer: this is a joke. PLEASE, people, STOP doing these things*
Thou Shall Go Slow in the Left Lane
If I-84 is part of your commute, you absolutely MUST stay in the left lane, NO MATTER WHAT! 15 to 20 miles under the speed limit, DO NOT GET OVER. A line of cars two miles long behind you, DO NOT GET OVER. Why would you allow others to pass you? You were there first right?
Thou Shall Not Turn Right on Red
Turn right on a red light. This is commonly done after one has stopped and cautiously made sure no other cars are coming but some like to hang out there for extended periods of time. Hey, we've got nothing to do. We love checking out your bumper stickers for an extra 40 or 50 seconds.
Thou Shall Not Look Before Turning Right
Turn right on a red light part II. Why look for anyone coming at all when you can just roll on through like you own that road. I think they literally call this a California Stop and yes, Californians, we're pointing the finger at you again.
Thou Shall Not Drive Faster Than You Walk
Don't drive the speed limit EVER! Broadway is notorious for drivers going a good 20 to 30 mph over. Now I'm a big BSU fan but you got to wonder if all those college kids might have something to do with that.
Thou Shall Not Share the Road
No need to let anyone in. Especially in areas like Nampa where I-84 crams down to one lane. That extra 10 to 15 seconds you might save by making sure nobody squeezes in front of you is going to make all the difference in the world.
Thou Shall Place Social Media First
Become a social media pro. There's no better place to text, call, facebook, snapchat and Instagram right? Oh, and when you're taking those cute little selfies while driving make sure you take at least 10. Girl gotta look GOOD!
Thou Shall Drive & Eat
No need to munch on finger food when you can pull out a seven-course meal to get your GRUB on. Your meal should include condiments and multiple side orders that are really messy too.
Thou Shall Speed Up on Red
Running red lights... NO PROBLEM. And we aren't just talking about the yellow questionable red lights, we are talking full on, been red for 5 seconds red lights. Oh, and make sure you wave to all the cars that have to sit and wait for you while you're crushing that intersection.
Thou Shall Make Own Lanes
Anyone over 70 has the right to drive down the middle of two lanes. Hey, and do it on Eagle Road where we hardly ever have traffic right? Ha!
Thou Shall Not Place Handicap Over Thyself
Please disregard all signs when parking and make sure you get the absolute best and closest spot possible. Don't worry about handicap people or expectant mothers. The exercise will do them good.