Bougie Dreamin’ – 23 Amenities Boise Basics Wish We Had
"When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know that it is."
– Oscar Wilde
Rumor has it Boise's most affluent residents enjoy a lifestyle outfitted with accoutrements and amenities the blue-collar crowd couldn't envisage. Conspicuous consumption, luxury goods, and exclusive services are practically baked in to upper crust living. And we've heard it's pretty sweet.
While many of us are content with low thread counts, 30-year mortgages, and adding water to empty'ish shampoo bottles, now and then we catch ourselves wondering what it would be to live like Boise's aristocracy.
We flirt with the idea of owning a personal Starbuck's like Tommy Lee had on Cribs. We're proud of our rich altar ego for donating a few million to a worthy charity on our way to San Tropez. The tax write-off is just a fringe benefit.
It's usually around the time that we're searching for a rumpled .35 coupon at the bottom of our purse that we snap out of it. Name brand cereal be pricey, ya'll.
But before we embark upon another coupon recon, we compiled a list of bougie amenities Boise's elites are rumored to enjoy, that we'd love to experience.
1 || Cleaning Service - Because cleaning baseboards is da Devil, Axl.
2 || Private Chef - **sigh** If we must.
3 || Night Nannies - Because sleep is the currency of adulthood.
4 || Personal Assistant - You mean live our best life? Yes, please.
5 || Professional Dog Waste Removal - We [blank] you not, we'd go for this in a heartbeat.
6 || Car Detailer - Because we're above cleaning the backseat wasteland of Gold Fish, fruit snacks, and Teddy Grahams of road trips past.
7 || Laundress - Having one sounds as dreamy as we imagine it feels–classy.
8 || Christmas Tree Stylist - Like you wouldn't hire one if you could? C'mon, Susan.
9 || Personal Shopper - Because dressing rooms & check-out lines are so middle class.
10 || Private In-Home Medical Practitioners - Is there a doctor in the house? Yusss.
11 || Prima Cinema Services: in-home, same-day viewings of newly-released movies
12 || Smart Toilet - "I work in procurement and bought a big wig a $20k toilet from Italy that would analyze your waste and text you a biometric readout." Shaolin Hunk
13 || Heated Floors & Driveways - Cold feet & car tires be damned.
14 || Rotating Driveways - Because rear view mirrors & back-up cams are for peasants.
15 || In-Home Saunas - We wouldn't break a sweat over this one. It's a done deal.
16 || Personal Bowling Alley - Because we're the King & Queen Pins of our castle, baby.
17 || American Express Centurion Card Concierge - Google it.
18 || Private Shooting Range - Because, 'Merica, ya'll. And Idaho.
19 || Fully Outfitted Wine Cellar - Millennials + Wine = LOVE
20 || Seasonally Updated Furnishings - Because last season's couch was so last season–like, literally.
21 || Private Tech Support - When Geek Squad is your squad, you're winning at life.
22 || A JamesEdition Profile - Click the link.
23 || Gold-Plated iPhone - Rose gold is preferable, but we'll suffer through yellow or white if we must.