Dear Kekeluv, Why Am I Fat?
Why am I fat? I read a few articles from you recently talking about life hating you. You talked about mindset and self-worth but what do you do if you don't know how much you're valued? I can't keep relationships, avoid (at all costs) public events, and spend most of my nights with my cat (I know, so stereotypical.) I feel like all my friends are getting married, having kids, and just having something going on in their life. I especially love when my family goes on their rants, "When are you going to settle down and have babies? Do you want your mom to die never knowing her grandchildren?!?! Yes, my mom said that.
I'm a 28-year-old nurse, still finishing up school and feel pretty lost. I'll be honest, my motivation level is at ONE. I only give it a one because I've made the decision to reach out to you. I'm inspired by the child abuse prevention events you do and I need your shoulder for a few. Give me some guidance because I'm feeling pretty defeated right now.
Lost in Meridian,
Jaimie! First, you're worth more than you could ever imagine. I just got your email and it's 9:34 p.m. on a Sunday night and I couldn't wait to write this message. You will NEVER understand your true value because most of that work goes unnoticed. Why do I say that? It's the little things you do that get missed by everyone except the individual that it helped. Never quit being kind.
Fat? What is that? When and who decided what fat was or is? Obesity? Who defines which category you fit in when it comes to how much you eat? Does wearing a size 13 put you in a certain category? BOOOOOOOO!
I want you to try and forget what other people think for a few seconds. Don't think of men, children, family, or the future. I want you to really think about Jaimie. What does Jaimie want? We get so caught up in what the world thinks about us that we forget who WE are. What does Jaimie want? I want you to write out what you want in pen. Ink out your dreams and forget any and everyone else. What does Jaimie want?
We look at magazines, red carpet shows, and the most popular to see what perceived perfection is. How many times have YOU said that if you had the money, trainers, and support you'd look like them too! Jaimie it's not about that. I want you to find a mirror and look deep within yourself and ask a few questions:
- Are you happy with your weight?
- Do you love the way you feel?
- Are you comfortable with who you are right now?
- Is this it? Or, can you accomplish more?
- If the world ended today, would you be satisfied?
Let me start by saying I'm no professional when it comes to advice, bokay?! Let's just say that all those questions amount to one answer. Are you happy? If you're not happy with your weight, you probably hate the way you feel, not close to comfortable with yourself, know you can be more and would be super sad if you didn't get the chance to do more in life.
Everything starts with something I've mentioned before called, mindset. It's ridiculous for us to think that if you don't look like a Kardashian it's failure. I mean, who gave them the beautiful medal or made them the gold standard?
My message for you Jaimie is to find the one thing about you that you're most unhappy with. My second thing would be to fix it. You can't resolve all these issues at once but you can fix what's at the core. You need to start believing in you, Jaimie. If weight bothers you, fix it! No excuses. Nothing happens overnight and don't expect these infomercials to fix your life after you order the pills. You're going to have to work Jaimie and it's not easy. If being slim, fit, and happy were soooooooo easy then everyone would be following that same roadmap.
Fact: When you get into a habit of eating crap it piles on over time. That scale isn't wrong and laying off those foods for a week isn't going to fix the problem. You have to reset your metabolism and that takes discipline.
The most important thing really is, are you ready? I could write up diets and give you the best philosophy links in the world. The problem with this response is that you have to be willing to try. You sent me this email and that's the first step. Here's your assignment.
- We're changing the way we eat and I'm not giving you a diet platform to follow. Let's just start with the basics of eating 3 times per day. Easy right? Just the main breakfast, lunch and dinner.
- Choose a healthy snack to nibble on in between meals that might be almonds, celery or carrots. Don't eat a bag of almonds! Just grab 20 almonds. Nibble...nibble...nibble.
- Drink 8 glasses of water per day - non negotiable. If you get a craving - drink a glass of water. It WILL begin to curve your cravings and burn calories at the same time.
- Substitute! Love barbecue sauce or ketchup like I do? Use Worshersire sauce instead. Do you eat cereal? Eat it with Almond milk for a change. Love pudding? Try sugar-free pudding and after a bit it will taste like it did before - I promise! Want a soda with lunch? Try sugar-free lemonade or low cal. Ice cream!!!!! No. Try So-delicious or one of the substitute ice creams made with coconut milk. It's okay, they taste soooo good!
- IMPORTANT: Take a 15-minute walk after each of the 3 meals. Can do that? Take one at lunch and work your way up.
- IMPORTANT: Fast for 10-12 hours. That means no eating after 8 p.m. Hungry? Drink a glass of water to fill up but nothing after. Let your body burn those calories and not the cheesecake you scarfed down after Insta-stalking your ex. Come on don't act like you don't!
- IMPORTANT: Don't tell anyone, don't expect overnight results, and STICK WITH IT. Do it for 2 weeks and don't look at a scale. It's just 2 weeks out of your life. 14 days yo! If you can't do that then maybe you're not ready.
Again, I'm no doctor but the one thing I know is happiness. If you're not happy - flush all that stuff down the drain. Start getting happy with yourself and I PROMISE that fullfillment will follow. We get dressed every single day of our lives. If you hate the way you look then I can only imagine what your days look like.
I hope that helps Jaimie and let me know what happens. If I were you I would avoid looking at mirrors or scales for a minimum of 2-weeks. I say that because we have a way of destroying our expectations before we ever begin. Don't' think cutting out crap, hitting a gym for a day and drinking mass amounts of water will evaporate pounds. It doesn't work that way and you might even put on a few pounds before it comes off.
Good luck and I believe in you. I always say you get one life. Why waste time by planning this. Goto your frig now and start eliminating sugars and fats out of your diet for just 2 weeks. Put down that soda and drink water with lemon. Goto your closet and throw out every size bigger than what you are right now. People make the mistake of putting on those comfort clothes. Eliminate comfort. We got work to do!
Hope that helps Jaimie and here's a kiss of kindness, 💋