Dear Keke and Kat: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want Kids
I definitely have a take on this, but I'll wait until the end to state my opinion so you can form your own while you read her letter.
Dear Keke and Kat,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years, are living together and plan on getting engaged soon. Now that we're discussing further steps in life, we're talking about family plans and of course, kids. That's where we're running into an issue.
He doesn't want kids. At all. Ever. This has never been something he told me before. And I'm not happy about it. I'm considering breaking up over this. When we've discussed kids in the past, he's always said it's something he'd consider in the future, when the time was right. We tabled it because the timing wasn't right and I didn't feel like it was an issue. We'd obviously have kids if we ended up at that stage in our relationship.
But for him to all of the sudden blindsight me and have this life-altering stance against having kids, I'm shocked by it. How can he expect me to continue building a future with him and even consider getting engaged, when we want such different things out of life?
Should I hope that he'll eventually change his mind, or get out before I waste any more of my time?
Personally, this sounds like the two of them are not fundamentally right for each other. They want different things out of life. Neither of them are right or wrong, they're just different. You cannot build and share a life with someone successfully when they want something completely different than you. We're not talking about different dietary choices, we're talking about kids. If they stay together, one person will be settling and giving up what they truly want.
As hard as it may be, I think they should break up and find someone more compatible with what they want out of life.