You Know Those Facebook Pics of Your Ex? Do You Delete Them?
It's that photo that captured all of your friends together at the beach in McCall. The problem: He's in the photo, too. Ugh. Looking through your pics on Facebook and Instagram, do you get rid of them? There's a reason why you aren't dumping those images.
This isn't something that one or two of us go through - it's basically all of us. It's so common that Vogue wrote about the different ways and reasons we move on from a breakup when it comes to social media.
Out of the picture
At first, many editors thought taking down photos of an ex might seem too bitter. “You don’t want to erase someone’s complete memory,” says one fashion editor. “You can be sad it’s over, but why make a show of taking everything down?” In other words, it’s the old-school equivalent of burning the entire box of photos and love letters. “It was a part of your life. If you made the decision to date this person for a while, then own it,” says another editor. Others don’t see anything wrong with removing all traces of an ex from your wall—it is, after all, your feed. “If it bothers you to have those pictures there, then, sure, take them down,” says one writer. “Out of sight, out of mind.” There was one thing all the editors agreed on, and that was profile photos: “Profile photos are definitely fair game to delete if they have an ex in them,” says one producer. “Especially since those are the ones that get picked up by Tinder.”
If you’re beginning a new relationship, things are especially tricky. “We’ve all been down the rabbit hole of stalking the old relationship, the ex, the friends of the ex,” says another editor. “It can be intimidating to look through it, but what did you expect? You have a past, so does everyone else.” One designer recently admitted, “I started seeing someone, and his ex liked one of his photos. I found it puzzling.” There was a consensus that liking an ex’s photos sends a confusing message, so it’s best avoided. “It’s almost like a weird Google News pin reminding you of your ex,” explains one writer. “In my opinion, it’s the laziest reach-out of all time. You don’t have to write an email or call, you’re literally just tapping a screen and making him or her think about you.” What if your new significant other feels uncomfortable about the constant reminders of what came before? “If someone is asking you to take down old photos of the past, then you probably shouldn’t be dating that person,” advises another writer.
Why aren't you getting rid of the photos? Would you like to?