It’s Not The Californians Moving To Boise You Need To Worry About

People are upset about Californians moving to Boise.

How mad are they? Big mad. Just look at the comments section of any Boise radio station, TV station, news source, hell even the local community pages aren't safe. It's understandable why some folks may be upset. Boise traffic is definitely getting more difficult to navigate, the cost of living isn't what it used to be, and sometimes we have to wait in line longer to get a coffee. Oh the horror!

However, this really isn't the issue Boisians should be worried about in 2023. Let some people come here from California, who cares. We have a much bigger issue at hand that demands our attention.

That's right: We're talking about Boise karaoke bars that let people sing literally any song they want to.

Now, that doesn't seem so bad, does it? Not so much, until you're stuck hearing some drunk lady slur her way through Alanis Morissette's "Uninvited." Sure, it's a lovely song, but not when Janet is forgetting half the words after two Sex on the Beaches.

We'd like to propose that all Boise establishments who offer karaoke to abide by the following rules:

• If it's a slow song, it has to be a fun slow song that people know the words to
• No more Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow "Picture." Just because.
• Songs over 4:00 minutes in length require the singer to purchase the entire bar a round of drinks. If it's over 6:00, you buy top shelf.
• Absolutely no singing of R. Kelly songs. No, we don't care how much you sound like him

If you are planning on making Boise your forever home, let us offer some advice: