Still Woke In Boise? It’s Officially Been Too Long
Would you consider yourself "woke" at the moment?
While we're not going to try to dive into the rabbit hole that is describing what the definition of "woke" is in 2023, we do have a suggestion regarding the topic at hand.
Some folks would say they've been woke for years, which we have a difficult time believing. Others claim that they've been woke since the most recent presidential election, which, again, we can't for the life us understand how that's even possible. If you ask someone how long they've been "woke" for, you're bound to get a different answer every single time.
Well, regardless of what your answer is, if it's anything longer than 17 hours, you've probably been woke for too long.
The CDC recommends adults over the age of 18 attempt to sleep at least 6-7 hours a night if you want to prepare yourself for the next day, without waking up feeling like you got hit by a campaign tour bus.
If you've been woke for an entire day or longer, you're really pushing it. Don't be like this guy, who set the world record for staying woke at over 11 days. That's a long time to stay woke, we're sure you'd agree.
If you're saying you're "woke" right now, we believe you, because it'd be pretty hard to stake that claim in the middle of a slumber.
Yes, this is satire. Send this to someone who'll get a laugh out of it! Have a fantastic week, and get some damn sleep.